Thursday, October 14, 2010

Body Slam Dunk

It's been one of those days that slams into you from every direction with the good, the bad and the ugly. Less of the ugly because you can side step them as they come at you if you're wearing a properly functioning mong radar. Eugh.

I've had a work trip down to my old university in Kent. The University of Kent is a fantastic place and I had 4 very happy years here. Coming back is like putting on an old pair of boots and feeling great, and then noticing someone a lot skinnier than you is wearing the same pair and looks a lot better. I feel a bit like a tired grey version of the students who are here now. I know this is ridiculous (and a terrible analogy as I'm actually quite stunning and these people are gross). NB - I will be making up for my insecurity with false self confidence in places throughout this blog. I have always been accused of using humour as a defense mechanism - and I don't see why this is a bad thing - surely it's better to have a joke than a knife? Wit can be cutting but it rarely severs an artery. Unless you're carving a particularly strong pun into someone's neck. Which wouldn't be a bad thing...oh look - a tangent.

Um, so anyway. Yes; it's nice to be back. But I want to leave now. I am fully floored by the amount of gossip about my life that has still somehow made it back to these echoey halls - even long after I am gone. I was greeted with the line "So - I know who YOU pulled in Edinburgh." within 30 seconds of walking into the bar - glorious. Not only has my news survived a long trek of folks to get it back here - it's also crossed borders. I must be either truly interesting - or truly tashy. I'll take interesting trash I think; like when you see something really cool in a bin and have to take it No one else? Just me then. Well, fuck you. If you saw a gramaphone in a bin you'd want it to. Not that it was a gramaphone in my case - but a largely edible sandwich is better. So there.

I went to my morally reprehensible meeting and they adored the product; the compromise I have had to come to on this subject is that any commission I receive will go directly to an eating disorder charity as I refuse point blank to personally benefit from this industry. I was pleasantly surprised by the outift though - even if they did offer me some of their products after the meeting. I didn't know whether to be grateful or furious. I refused politely explaining that I'd just eaten a large portion of cheesey chips and they had worked perfectly as a hunger suppressant. Laura humour 1 - Diet pills 0.

I've caught up with a lot of old friends and it's worked as a good measure of how proud I am with where my life is headed that I'm not embarassed about answering honestly with what I've been up to lately. Gone are the days of quietly mumbling something about a house near Greenwich and a sigh before I explain that I really should work harder on booking gigs and blogging. Huzzah! Am humour whirlwind and proud of it! And fit. I am fit? Did I mention I was fit? And feeling a tad delicate today.

In the murky pool of gossip I unwittingly entered, someone also found it appropriate to tell me all about my ex's new relationship. Wonderful. No, genuinely wonderful. In all honesty it was the last thing I was waiting for that I thought could throw me back a few steps and now it's come and gone and I am ok. Unless my sadness is hiding somewhere but I don't think so - I think I just don't care? Have I matured in some way when I wasn't looking? Plus, apparently she is very tall. So in my head she is a heron. And he has to go out to dinner with a heron. What a bellend. Who would break up with me to go out with a heron? I am beautiful! And she has a beak! Dumbass. I would never go out with a heron. I am mortally afraid of birds. I have not matured clearly. But I do feel a big sense of relief.

The final bodyslam was finding out my sister has gone in to hospital. This is genuinely sad and worrying. Tis only appendicitis so I'm thinking she'll be fine. But I am a natural worrier. And a tad svelte and incredible to look at. So all in all it wasn't the best news.

But then there has been great news - I am seeing my elf friends this weekend for a chilly reunion! We are already hastily planning the wine so you will get some Loughborough themed blogs posted Saturday and you will be grateful! Because they have been typed with some spiffy fingers. Seriously hot momma over here.

Now back to London - back to London and back to my new life. I feel like it's someway fitting that this is my 100th blog and I have spent the day so wrapped up in a life that is so alien to the things

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