So... today I have been at the zoo. All day... and it's been magical. It's been amazing.
Even the weather has been utterly cool. Taking my sister to Camden has also really opened my eyes to how much I've grown used to London and begun to fit in properly. She was terrified. If you've ever poked a snail with a stick and watch in recoil into its shell you'll understand what she looked like when we strolled down the high street to the Locks.
Taking her to the market and watching her try in vain to explain to the stall holder that she didn't really want to buyt he dress he'd insisted she tried on was nigh on hilarious. A more polite, yet petrified blonde you've never met. She's a bit of a stunner my sister, you often see her walking down the street and passers by aren't sure whether to take a photo now for posterity or just start humping her leg in the vain attempt she'll notice them. If you know her, you know that behind that airy aloof stare she's replaying episodes of Friends and giggling at Chandler in her mind.
But anywho, back to the zoo. The blissfully people free zoo - save for one school of children that we successfully managed to avoid for most of the way round.
I have seen more animals today than I could hope to have. The higlight was absolutely definitely the squirrel monkeys in the enclosure where you and they wandered freely together in an inter-species utopia. I got quite confused at one point in this journey though due to the following interaction between a staff member and a visitor -
Visitor - Do they bite?
Staff - Yes.
Visitor - Does it hurt?
Staff - Put it this way, I've seen one of these bite through the leg of a frog...
And she said this as though this completely cleared up everything... as though we all measure the sharpness of teeth and the pain factor by how quickly something can saw through a frog's leg. Well, maybe in France (hello cheap joke based on a stereotype!)
I have no idea how any part of my body stands up against a frog's like? I think I would be worried if a squirrel money got hold of my tongue... but I'm pretty sure the bone in my finger would be harder to get through than a frog's leg? And my thigh is significantly thicker than any of the frogs I saw in the Reptile house.
I also had an ice cream.
We were not keen on the porcupines as they made very little effort. But we did admire their integrity at not racing for our attention. If you think of Meercats as the Lady Gagas of the animal kingdom, then the porcupines were playing Banksy today.
My least favourite section was the inflatable butterfly house. It was like being in a massive armpit with the added bonus of potentially getting a bug stuck in your hair. Why on earth would anyone find that lovely? Bleugh.
I also didn't linger long next to the vulture enclosure.
Other highlights of my day included Okapis (can lick their own ears with their tongues), aardvarks (one of them had a snotty nose and didn't look well) and naturally the llamas and goats.
I love llamas and goats. Goats for the sense of mischieviousness and their ability to eat anything. Llamas for their genius gentility and funny faces.
So that has been my day. What did you do? Sorry, but unless it was a trip to the zoo it's probably not going to win in our little competition about how good our days were. Now, off for cocktails on the Southbank. Smashing.