I did it.
I've just eaten so much that even moving a little bit makes me feel very inweildy and like I might fall over at any moment. I feel a bit queasy... but that's largely due to the mixture of apple, taramasalata and tea. All of these are wet and squishy and as a consequence I feel wet and squishy. I'm sheltering in the relative cool of my living room and wondering whether I will turn in to a wet squishy mess if I go ahead and make another cup of tea. I probably will.
I'm supposed to be working on some new material for Monday's show. My theme this month will be cricket - interestingly one of my jokes on cricket is the only one I'veever written that has got me a bad noise from the audience. My material is usually terribly inoffensive and so to have written something edgy is quite interesting really. No one would have guessed it would have come from cricket either, I'll bet.
The trouble is I don't feel particularly productive given the heat outside - I wish I was a lizard so I had an excuse for just wanting to bask all day. We went so catastrophically wrong somewhere in our development as a race - how is it possible that we're the most advanced things on the planet and yet we have advanced to the point where we enjoy practically none of the natural bounties on offer? Ridiculous.
Tonight I'm off to a comedy competition - comedy competitions make me very angry. Sadly it's fairly necessary to enter them if you want to raise your status ont he comedy scene but they are so stupid. You can have a blinding gig and then go on to not win and rather than feeling buoyed by a solid performance, you feel rubbish because you weren't the best. And what is the best in comedy? It's too subjective to be graded.
Last night I went down to Old Rope at The Phoenix off Regent Street and I saw an utterly awesome line up of comedy (Carey Marx, Tiernan Douieb, Rich Hall, Shappi Khorsandi, Lloyd Langford and Rufus Hound...!!!!) For a Monday night club to be showing what's essentially a festival line up for a freaking fiver is incredible I think. I have to say that as much as I loved all the other acts it was actually Rufus Hound who took my breath away. I've not seen anything that incredible at a gig for a while and it wasn't really what I was expecting from a TV guy (as he well addresses). Happy sigh. I wouldn't mind if Rufus Hound beat me in a competition. That would be OK by me. But I doubt he'll be there tonight.