This time next month I will be on my way to Edinburgh for a month of shows and parties and cobbles and rain and artistic differences and actors lying around in face paint and jokes and star struck nonsense. This time next month I will actually be in a car on my way there - I will be travelling! Actually, I'll be about 4 hours into my journey so I'll probably be somewhere between Yorkshire and Lancashire. I'd prefer it if no one who understands the layout of the country properly corrected me in a helpful/patronising manner beneath this blog. Ta muchly.
This weekend feels a little bit like the calm before the storm when the Glassblower preview season kicks off on Monday. This almost feels like the worst bit I think because there's nothing more you can do to get something ready but there's still the chance the whole thing could be a disaster. I bit like once you've had all the sex and the baby is kinda growing but only DNA can decide whether he gets the family monobrow. The best you can do is start researching shapes and practising your tweezer fingers just in case.
I got told off yesterday for not putting any funnies into the blog... I do apologise unreservedly (but very shallowly in that I'm not really very sorry because this is my playground and I'm just letting you use the swings when you want) about the lack of jokes, and if any occur to me between now and going to my rehearsal I will jam them awkwardly into this collection of words.
It's very hard to know what to write that's going to be amusing when you've not had time to encounter any kamikaze lady birds or get angry about anything. I've had a cup of tea and a shower so far. Absolutely nothing funny happened.
Perhaps it's time for lies? Yeah, erm, I had a shower... and Chuck Norris was there! Yeah! and he sad something really funny... he said, um - wait til you hear this, he said... Actually, I'm not entirely sure who Chuck Norris is so perhaps he was a stupid person to pretend was in the shower. I'm not really sure who would be the funniest person to find in your shower. I'd be pretty amused if John Lithgow was in there. He's a funny man. Go and read his blog if you want jokes. (I don't know if he actually writes a blog so you might have to pop round to his house. Maybe get in his shower. Yes! We could all get in John Lithgow's shower and then he'll have something to blog about and so will we.) It's a perfect plan.
I should really be getting dressed because the longer I sit here the less feeling I have in my leg (they are dangling over the foot of my bed and it's very uncomfortable), and the less skin I have because I've noticed if you peel after a shower it looks like peeling off dried glue and I find that gross but addictive. So, there we have a plan. You go and find John Lithgow, I'll get dressed and we'll reconvene tomorrow for hilarity? Excellent.