Friday, August 30, 2013


So, here's my post Edinburgh revelation:

Comedy is subjective. Sometimes you're good, sometimes you're very good and sometimes you're average verging on bad. Sometimes you are all those things in one night. It couldn't matter less.

With that in mind, I've been thinking of some ways to make sure I get the audience that is most likely to enjoy what I've got to say. Or, if it's an audience of strangers (as most are) then I need to be able to mould them to my way of thinking.

I've decided a good way to do this is to reveal snacks that go well with my comedy in the same way a wine expert might recommend a good grape for a meal.

For example, snacks that will go well with my comedy:

Cashew nuts,
Brie and Bacon sandwiches,
Any form of biscuit except ginger biscuits and party rings. (This is nothing against party rings, I just feel that if you're at a party ring level of wigging out then you might want a more shouty comedian.)
Marinated anchovies,
Scrambled egg and smoked salmon on crackers (at a gig with tables, otherwise you're going to have eggy/fishy knees by the time I get to the B.O.B. bit.)
Green apples (pre cored but still apple shaped, not slices.)

I can also recommend snacks for specific set lengths so that they don't bleed into the next act (they may have their own pre approved snacks and I don't want to be pushy)...

My tight 5 - Cherries and/or Gruyere and Poppy Seed Twisty sticks. (Fresh, and yet classy and satisfying).
My solid 10 - Crackers with cream cheese and smoked bacon bits followed by chocolate mousse with popping candy. (Good variety, nice and childish and you'll want more).
My club 20 - Pop corn chicken, a plate of nachos, angel delight and lots of Tangfastic Haribo. (It's got a nice retro feel to what's essentially quite mainstream, but there's a nod to other cultures and it'll make your teeth feel furry in places).
New material: Some broccoli. brown bread and a bottle of water (someone needs to have a good grip on reality).

I would always recommend a cup of tea with my act, and if you want a glass of white wine or a pint of cider (not pear, thank you) as well as the tea then you be my guest. However, if you're having sugar in that tea you'll want to be in the front row because we've got stuff to iron out.

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